well I can't set my house on fire every night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize