idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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