I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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