I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize