So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
