one might say we're banned from that church
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
