Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
