You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
