Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
