i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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