I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
