I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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