Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
