idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
