i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
