Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
