remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she peed on how many people?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
