I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
