Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
