You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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