PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
