Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
