there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
