If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
