If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The power of my boobs compel you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
