Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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