tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
