I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
