I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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