Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize