Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
