yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
