shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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