Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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