well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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