i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
