so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
