CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
