brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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