Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize