Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
