I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
