Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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