shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
