Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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