i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
and she was petting her beer can
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
