Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
