How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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