who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pants are for mortals
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
