lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I need moral support for this bender
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
