i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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