1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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