i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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