i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize