I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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