Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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