We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
